So many changes....

Life has continued to progress at a rapid pace (no rest for the wicked, lol) and more huge changes have ensued.  

It is now early October and I have just finished my life coaching sessions with Matt.  We have had such a joyful journey, and it has been so empowering (not to mention plenty of surprises) for both of us and I am truly grateful to have not only found him, but to count him as a dear friend :-)

We worked on so many deep issues and I moved through and beyond them all, in a variety of ways.  Matt helped me to review them all in our final coached session and I still find it incredible just how far I have come in a few short months.  My deep rage that so concerned me has dissipated - it was not just mine, but that of many generations of women who preceded me and that had to be resolved energetically.  We talked about feeling safe, holding space, managing boundaries, reflecting light and joy and through it all, I was bubbling over.  I have found my tribe and continue to find them, and there is another purpose that I will start to progress more once I have allowed all this work to settle and incubate for a bit.  Looks like I will be back to teaching, lol.  Definitely "seeding the change".  

I had a lovely reading from Spirit Rebelles, with the card 22. Collaborative Dreaming (how very apt!). 

Your vision oozes (in a good way) into the pores of everything you do, everywhere you go, everyone whose life and work you touch. Grow collaborations and new creations. It is TIME for a new world.

The write up in the book went on for pages but a few phrases really stood out for me.  

"Your heart is big enough to dream not only for yourself, but for a new humanity.  

You are being asked to honour your growing desire to co-create with conscious, like-minded people.

You are no longer to think of yourself as the lone wolf.

You must always trust your own voice above any other."

 I am solidly on my path, I am radiating joy and abundance and for the most part, my life is flowing smoothly, despite the fast pace.  All is well in my world <3 xx

Moving forward

So the life coaching continues in leaps and bounds, despite no real agenda in advance for each session.  In my quest to find more members of my tribe, I've signed up for The Healing Weekend at Secret World in Somerset in July and have bought my ticket for Into the Wild over the August Bank holiday weekend.  I'm considering a couple of others but am reluctant to commit to too many, as I want the freedom to just take off by myself if I need some space or get the chance to go wild camping.  
Latest revelation is that I need to make food preparation fun in order to let go of some issues that seemed totally unrelated until we dug deeper.  So far I've made chocolate fudge brownies with sweet potato and beetroot (gluten-free, dairy-free, egg-free, would have been vegan if I'd had maple syrup or agave nectar but had to make do with honey) and have figured out that I could do baked potatoes, and baked apples in the coals of a firepit or on a BBQ.  Need to go back to Tesco to see if they have any of the little BBQ buckets left I think, though I would have preferred a version with a lid!

Bought some purple nail varnish to paint my nails but haven't quite got around to it yet - Matt is waiting for the photos so will need to do it soon, lol.  

 

Turbulent few months and more massive changes

So things went from bad to worse with Dad, with a miserable Christmas and then New Year spent back in A&E followed by readmittance to hospital.  Another stressful 6 weeks or so in various wards, followed by transfer to a nursing home for 24 x 7 care.  He is now relatively settled there, though there have been many ups and downs, and his condition is worsening quite significantly from one week to the next.  So we are on the final decline that the doctors warned us about back in November last year.  He has already had one bad chest infection from aspirating food and is back on the pureed diet that he loathes, hence he is not really eating.  Toria coaxes him with food she takes in and tries regularly to get his meals upgraded to fork mash but so far, without success.  So he is still losing weight and there must be a limit to how much he can lose before his system finally gives up. 

In the meantime, I took most of March to volunteer at EarthHeart in the Forest of Dean and had a great time, if somewhat more challenging than expected, living in a dilapidated caravan, dismantling wood post and wire fences and learning some of the art of hedge laying, plus planting trees, clearing brambles, cooking for large groups of people and doing lots of chilling out.  A side effect that I really didn't anticipate was doing some really deep work, and having a huge amount of support from such conscious and aware people :-)  Some of it was very hard to deal with, but with a couple of breaks away, I really dug down into some core beliefs and core wounds and cleared quite a lot of stuff out.  And uncovered some things that I hadn't realised before.  I also decided to take Matt up on his offer of Life Coaching based on Inspiration (rather than goal-setting) and am already making more big changes in my life.  I have retired from IT Project Management and am now focused on finding more conscious people to spend time with as well as making more time for my close friends.  I have fostered a troubled little Yorkshire Terrier so I have a little dog around again, which is forcing me out into nature on a daily basis.  I am also meeting more people who can help and support me with his rehabilitation and life is full of fun and joy, and I am feeling much more in tune with my own needs.   I am moving further away from skydiving - it is a source of much frustration and disappointment, and although I still enjoy jumping with other people, I really don't get enough out of it to be bothered investing much time and effort in it.  I will see out the summer season, but don't intend to continue after that.  I loved training for the World Challenge and was very happy with how we performed for the most part (just love the statistic of being 4th in the UK in Rookie and 8th in the World, lol) but the UK weather has been diabolical for team training for FS 4-way so our team really isn't prepared for the UKSL at Langar in a couple of weeks.  So I will be training via fun jumps and the Sibson Scrambles instead, in order to inject a bit more enthusiasm into my hobby.